Don’t Throw Away Your Shot

L to R - Cloud and Gutierrez (youthalive.org)

Caheri didn’t even realize she had been hit when the bullet burst through her jaw.

An 18-year-old model from one of Oakland, California’s most unsafe neighborhoods, Caheri Gutierrez was shot in a drive-by while sitting in the passenger seat at the intersection of 98th Ave and San Leandro Street in November of 2008. She felt a shock but didn’t realize the damage done until she noticed the driver’s expression and reached to touch her face: it was effectively blown off. Her biggest asset for her up-and-coming modeling career was gone. 

 

Gutierrez stayed strong and survived through the night, waking up to find herself toothless, jawless, and deaf in one ear. After almost a month in the hospital, she returned home to East Oakland and struggled with severe nightmares, fear of her neighborhood, and growing resentment and grief for her former identity.

 

Soon enough, Tammy Cloud was assigned to Gutierrez’s case. Cloud worked as an Intervention Specialist in the Caught in the Crossfire program as part of Youth ALIVE!, an Oakland non-profit whose mission is to prevent urban violence and cultivate young leaders. Cloud provided emotional and practical support to victims of Oakland’s violence.

 

At first, Gutierrez did not want assistance, not realizing how difficult it would be to handle her emotions. But Cloud stuck by her side during her recuperation, helping her to graduate high school, start therapy, take college classes, and regain her academic and athletic strengths. Gutierrez was eternally grateful and described Cloud as her “guardian angel.” Cloud began to see an internal strength developing in Gutierrez, a power she could use for the greater good. She suggested Gutierrez speak to the youth from her community, so Gutierrez applied for and accepted a job at Youth ALIVE!, working for their Teens on Target (TNT) program, where she could share her story and confront her trauma in a new way. 

 

Gutierrez bravely returned to Oakland, but she was afraid she would frighten the children with her story and physical scars. However, not only were the TNT students drawn to her warm personality, but they were also enlightened by her experience, as they too were growing up under the cloud of violence in East Oakland. Gutierrez went on to initiate many necessary conversations of how to cope with and avoid a life of violence even if it’s all one has ever known (O’Brien).

 

With the help of Youth ALIVE! and the support of her community, Gutierrez established herself as an effective speaker and community leader who took steps to prevent incidents like hers from happening again. 

 

We are born from our experiences; they shape us into who we are, fostering our passions, character, and capabilities. With patience and guidance, we can use resilience and courage to take our history to make history.

 

Here at Bergen Volunteers, our Bergen LEADS program transforms individuals into ones who use their experience and knowledge to take action for the common good. We cultivate leaders just like Gutierrez who learn about the challenges facing their communities and develop the skills needed to address them and effect change. Over the past 15 years, more than 400 leaders have completed our 10-month extensive program involving project development, topical debates, site visits, alumni networking, and more. They learn about a vast number of issues ranging from mental health to environmental concerns to local government.

 

We would like to congratulate the Bergen LEADS Class of 2020-21! They most recently presented their project “Need a Hand, Lend a Hand - The Halt Hunger Project” where they discussed how their community can connect to food resources in Bergen County. Now we welcome the incoming class of 2021-22, and we are so excited to see how this program will transform them into the next generation of community leaders!

 

We encourage you to get involved in Bergen LEADS to make a difference in our community. If you’d like to contribute to our scholarships or become a sponsor, contact Nina Bachrach at nbachrach@bergenvolunteers.org or 201.489.9454 x201 for more information.

 

We need both the Caheri Gutierrezes and the Tammy Clouds in this world: those who utilize their challenges and experiences to make a difference, and those who help pave their path. And at Bergen LEADS, you can accomplish both.

O'Brien, James. Until You Bleed: The Caheri Gutierrez Story. 2013.